Have you ever felt like, you can trust a person with your whole life, but when after all the trust you've given them and all the things you thought were possible came clashing down because you find out that what if that trust is not what it really is. I mean, I've been down this road more than once, and more than twice, maybe I'm so gulliable of things that aren't worth trusting or believing over. I want to be more aware of what I'm agreeing to, and what I'm putting myself into, because once you've done, you can't undo. *sigh*..

I think I just need time for certain things, to figure out what the heck it is that I want. I mean, it's not that I don't know what I want, I just want to be so sure, that I won't risk hurting myself again for something that's not "quite" the risk, you know? I don't know if towards the end I'd be making the right decision, or the wrong decision, but, everybody has one story, and however it ends up, that's the way it was supposed to be anyway. Everybody lives life and though they might not know what they're doing 100% of the time, towards the end, they will know that everything happened for a reason, and why they end up the way they did because that is what it is meant to be.

I can't really "choose" what I want to do with my life, because it doesn't matter anymore I guess, because towards the end I would still be me, I will not change "spiritually. Life is going to be life, and I'm going to have to accept it no matter how I end up, or no matter how messed up or blissed my life is.